You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
