if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He did a backflip because drugs
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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