Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so let's talk penis.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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