You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
