Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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