You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
