honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There r osticjed everywhere
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
