I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
