Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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