Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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