This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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