When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize