Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
