is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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