please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We have so much sex to catch up on
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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