i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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