Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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