I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
