Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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