Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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