True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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