just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
