he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
