Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
