I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
