What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
