I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
