I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
