Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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