whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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