I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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