I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
