Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
