ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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