So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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