By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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