Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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