I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
