How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
