I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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