Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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