His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
