Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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