Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
