I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
