Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
