Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
