OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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