so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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