it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
