party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
