Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
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he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i now understand why vodka
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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