I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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