so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
