I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
